Thoughts on the Neonian Empire Allies & Enemies
By Michael Deragante
LYCANS: Nothing but tribal trash they are, a bunch of savages that doesnt deserve to even roam our great lands and here I thought the Echidnas were the only savage tribals. I dont understand why the Emperor even allow those flea bags to roam Old Xectros like they own the place, the way I see it they should all be collared up and be presented to the Silver Paws then maybe we can actually get some use of that begotten race. Or better yet, go Old Yeller on them. That is, whatever that statement means? I heard of that old world book before but never got the chance to get my hands on it, being human propaganda of course, but the way I heard it involved a boy and a dog and something bad happens in the end? If going Old Yeller means giving the Lycans to the humans, then that's good enough for me. The farther away they are from our grand city the better.
THE ANCIENTS: What in the Black Abyss is wrong in staying with the Towers of Arcane? I mean I'm no mage, can hardly use my own magic to light up me candles. And the way I hear there's all sorts of small guilds and groups that ties to the Towers of Arcane, including these buggers. But the question remains; why are they not disbanded? These bastards have caused all sorts of problems for the empire, all of which connected to Necromancy. We all still remember the events of the Undead Emperor, as well as every other problem they caused yet we still keep them around as if the only punishment for bringing about an army of the undead that seeks to eat our brains is just a slap in the wrists? Something is not right about them fellows, but I aint going near them. Last I heard they take pregnant humans and turn their fetuses into blood sucking monsters. Imagine what they can do to me if I pissed them off.
VAMPIRES: Now I dont really have much of a problem against vampires, well I do but not those of the Blood Dusk. I mean we help them out, they help us out. Fair trade if you ask me. It's just a bit unnerving when we have to consort with them. It's like a little rabbit sitting next to a wolf, you know that wolf is thinking about eating that rabbit right there. The main problem however is not just about what they normally do, but what we give them in return for their services. A brother of a friend of my cousin told me that from time to time around every month he as well as bunch of other Legion soldiers were to go out and bring in a whole truck load of vials filled with this red black colored liquid? He said it looked like blood, but more thicker and smelt like death or how he described it "like smelling the stank of a dead ox's ass." From what people say, it's some sort of drug that some of the vampires go nuts over. And because of that, no one has ever heard of any vampire attacks going about in the Neonian Empire, at least none that has been reported.
THE ACORN KINGDOM: Bunch of dumb bastards that cant even protect a loaf of bread to save their damned lives. It makes me question how in the old days people somehow convinced the Empire to become allies with the Acorn Kingdom? A large sum of gold perhaps, knowledge, a chance to sleep with someones wife? I dont know, but it must've been pretty big to get them together back then. Thank the Fifteen that Emperor Neon Blacklight was there to put an end to that charade. Good riddance to bad rubbish I say. It makes me wonder more how that mess of a kingdom still stands to this day, from constantly going up against this and that, having their most precious of relics and artifacts being destroyed, it's downright absurd. I heard tale they once fought some kind of lobster, rhino, bat man mutant? I think he went by the name of Exis Naggis or something I dont know. Something stupid for sure. And ugly, I dont even want to know what a combination of a bat, a rhino, and a freaking lobster would look like. It'll probably make me loose a whole weeks worth of lunch and dinner if I first glance at such a beast. Anyways, the way I see it the Kingdom is on its last leg and just pretending to be surviving through the years. I heard that the only people who's actually pulling some weight around there is some rebel group known as The Freedom Fighters, and from what I can guess from all the rumor is that a princess is the head of the party. A princess in charge of a rebel group in her own kingdom, something in that doesnt make a lick of sense?
MOBIAN MECHS: You know those freaks with the mechanical limbs and such on them, yeah those little buggers. It just proves that we of the Empire is more advanced than those other folks that we call our brothers and sisters. I mean we do got medicine and all sorts of magics that can help restore lost limbs and other stuff. Not sure about heads though, never heard of one loosing a head and doctors going and regrowing a new head for them and sometimes it takes a while for a whole limb to grow back and fully function, but that's beside the point. But no, they dont trust the Empire, they dont want our help. Instead let us become out of natured freaks and turn into robotized monsters with who knows attached to their steel limbs and such. I've heard of an echidna who once lost one of their locks, and gotten a robotic replacement for it. What, their locks or quills or whatever is considered a limb? For what purpose, next you're telling me that there's one that replaced their tail for a robotic one? Unless they're fully robotic and used only for war purposes, then there's no point of a Mobian Mech to even be here in the Empire. Disgraceful to their own kind I say.
HUMANS: Disgusting, vile, weak and destructive creatures that think only but themselves and that of the past of what once was. They say they're rebuilding, but they're nothing but a damned plague that's placed in our world that wishes to repeat the save events that happened to them so long as we keep them around and in power. How cant all the Mobians see that, their destructive nature, their ignorance to Mobian and Neonian culture, their ideals that does not fit into this world anymore, they've even been into war against each other. If the humans were to have won the Great War, do you think they would just stop there? No, they would just keep pressing forward and expand until all Mobians were pinned to a corner and either enslaved or exterminated. And they call us the bad guys, we want to protect our Mobian brothers and sisters and bring them a new world order to further guide and protect them and eliminate all threats that dares to harm us, especially humans. Unfortunately the current ruler over all Mobians is nothing but a complete idiot who doesnt understand the threat as long as he rules and most likely lead his people to ruin while we of the Empire still stand strong as ever.
CONJURERS: I have nothing against magic or its use, I'm a Neonian so magic is basically a common occurrence around here in the Empire. It be a shock not to hear of a student from the Towers of Arcane blew himself up while practicing fire magic. However there is one thing that unsettles me and other folks around here, the Conjurers. The kind of mages who uses their kill in magic to summon monsters, from the Black Abyss no less. That's practically Luminaris Cult activity right there, but the mages of the Towers treat it like it was just another form of practice in one of the arts. Who wouldnt be scared out of their minds when they see a Shadow Beast walking about, yet alone a freaking Sin. Next thing you know some novice Conjurer think he'll have the balls to conjure Mehrozan Dehgal. Now that is something I dont want to be around for.
THE LOCAL WILDLIFE: I'm surprised that Mobians yet alone humans havent caught onto this but this world is practically filled to the brim with monsters. Sure now these days there arent really all that much and Mobians who are considered to be of monster type are more docile than their more feral siblings and they stay isolated in certain areas, here in Pumpkin Hills it's a common occurrence to find these bastards around. I'm talking about Wraiths, Liches, walking Undead, Ghosts and what not. Luckily the Church and their Paladins take care of them but territories outside of Pumpkin Hills that's a different story. I dont know how those Legionairres do it but there's no way seeing me travel to the major Neonian cities without some protection. May cost me a bit of gold but atleast I wont find myself in the belly of a damned griffon much less a troll or something worse. Heard there be jobs out in the cities of the Empire to go out and kill those bastards, yet from what I heard no one gone to claim the rewards for them. Poor sods.
ECHIDNAS: A race thats been begotten over their own pride, and good riddance. I mean I heard there was one or two of them still lurkin around, but that's not my problem. Now I wont bat an eye towards an echidna who gladly serves under the Empire. Good for them, glad they're knowing their place for once. The ones I got a problem with are those who decided to stab us in the backs all those years ago during the Blacklight Plague so they call it. If they were to have just shut their mouths and agreed with one another to join the Empire at an instant, then maybe things would've been different back then. I dunno, wasnt there anyways so nothing much I could do there. The only echidnas I know of is but two, maybe three? Not sure about the third one. One goes by the name of Knuckles, stupid name for an echidna if you ask me, and a rogue the Legion call "Shade." Not much else is known about that one, guess these echidnas call their name by their appearance or something. Explains why Knuckles is called by that name. The third one though, I havent the slightest clue. All I know of the guy was that he was a tribe leader, something happened, then they were gone. No trace what so ever, leaving only a large chunk of land left missing. What's with these echidnas and taking mass chunks of land and doing gods know what with them. First a flying island, now a disappearing one. What's next, an undersea island?
ENERJAK: Speaking of echidnas, this one has me worried a bit. Now I know of a miss that works as one of the maids of Blackthorn Castle, lucky bitch gets to personally serve the Emperor himself. Anywho, from what she told me the Emperor has a slight interest in that of this Enerjak. Apparently as the story is told, Enerjak was once a normal echidna, a scientist researching on Chaos Energy. One day a bunch called the Ancient Walkers came and gave em something and became a god, but went mad with power and as a result the Walkers ripped him apart and scattered him through the flows of Chaos but through the years he manifested himself through the echidnas a total of four times. This is why you dont let tribals work around with Chaos Energy, they're bound to mess up one way or another. Anywho, with that in mind the Emperor has been studying on the subject of Enerjak and have been speaking alot about this one echidna though, especially that vulture that works the Crimson Labs. They believe that he is to be the fifth, and want to do something with him. Not sure what though, but from the tales I heard from what happened with the other four, it might end badly and I'm not talking about if they fail to do so.
SEEDRIANS: A bunch of suicidal weeds they are, I mean New Xectros is great an all, no question about that, and they're treated pretty fairly as long as they follow our rules. But they must either be insane or just asking for a death wish here in the Empire. First off, they're plants and New Xectros is practically in a wasteland of a country. We only get our crops and supplies from nearby lands and other Neonian cities, almost any plant that stays here is bound to be dried up or die. I'm not looking forward to a bunch of dried up Seedrian corpses once I step out my door. Secondly, New Xectros especially the forge city Verintas of Albion isnt exactly a great place for Seedrians who seek not to get burned. I mean we're Neonians? A district without a forge or a metalwork or something wouldnt feel right for us. We're weapons and armor crafters and to be weapons and armor crafters you need fire and lots of it. But I guess they can go and stay in the city of Aqarus, that place has plenty of water and possibly some sunshine seeing how it's well underwater, or Ratakash? Though I'm not sure how Seedrians think of slaves, or becoming slaves, or slave masters if they're up to it?
THE LUMINARIS CULT: The way I see it, these sand eating bastards should've stayed dead and buried. Or better yet, get dug up, dragged out from the desert and burn their sorry hides. They dont even deserve to die in our ancestral lands. I mean how could they worship a being such as Mehrozan Dehgal, the False God, that is literally what not only we call him but what they call them. I think the word Mehrozan means a different word to them, after all they do speak the ancient Neonian tongue, a language back when our ancestors were but sand savages themselves. I mean the red eyed bastard tried to kill our ancestors, buried them all alive in a mountain of sand and they still worship that beast. Damned traitors the lot of them, I hope they get their just reward in the deepest pits of the Black Abyss, then we'll see how their so called god will be when their bones are munched on by Shadow Beasts and eternally tormented by the Sins.
THOSE OF THE TWILIGHT CAGE: A dimension or something filled with warrior races and such turned pansy? You'd rather catch me dead living in such a place. Now I aint up and arms when it comes to this "Twilight Cage" thing, but from what I can understand is that there's this thing that goes out and takes away certain species that are "too violent" or something and places them in that dimension. For how long I dont know, and from record there are about a few of them I can recall. One of them are these telekinetic jellyfish, and another one are just giant slugs. How those two got into that dimension I can hardly tell, maybe they leave too much of a mess on the planet with their slime and what not. Ever touched a jellyfish, or a slug for that matter? Gross isnt it? Anyways, the other two on the other hand are somewhat deserving to be there, for being morons. One of them are like one of them robots that runs on electricity and the like, and that their whole species are that of strong and powerful warriors, seriously. Every last one of them, I mean we ourselves are a warrior race but atleast we have the mindset to become merchants, mages, doctors, and the like. They wouldnt know of a damned dictionary from a sword much less their own asses. The second to last ones are just a bunch of rocks, I dont know I just skimmed over that part knowing the fates of these buggars turning into a bunch of sissies. I swear if they were to somehow come back, the Empire would have no worries taking them over. Just send out a few Electromancers and some Geomancers and they'd be nothing more than our own personal golems. I always wanted my own golem. The last one is of course a bunch of fucking echidnas. A single tribe with a leader who believes he's a special snowflake when actually he's nothing more than a pansy himself behind those worthless bots of his and his goons. Good riddance to bad rubbish I say.
DRACONIANS/DRAGONS: Now I have no problem with the Draconians living in our Empire, bravo to them supporting our Empire with their magics and what not. I'd just prefer to not piss them off, not that everyone is afraid of the Draconians, they follow our laws to the letter and they fit well in the Empire. It's just that I'm a bit afraid of their cousins, the big ones. The ones in the Dragon Isle, now those are things to be afraid of. One wrong look and you'll find your head bit clean off from your shoulders at an instant. Luckily them dragons are bound up in chains and all, used for harvesting, farming, breeding, all that noise to supply the Empire with their blood, bones, scales, eggs, and other things they provide. However, out of all the dragons I've seen or at least heard of that scares me the most is N.E.D. Or the Neonian Empire Dragon or just Ned for short. Ned is one ferocious son of a bitch, heard that he killed twenty of his trainers just because they were in the way of his meal which is a whole cattle of cows and pigs alike. Yet the Emperor keeps him like he's a pet. Even seen him ride the damned beast from time to time. Aint no way I'm getting near that, and if somehow Draconians can turn into dragons themselves, then I have good reason to keep my distance and not be on their list.