My Rants: Bad Word

Alright I'm going to get straight to the freaking point here since there are some people out there who don't understand this ideal that I have. I literally don't like Comedy movies, like at all. Reasons are the following; there are little to no new material that these movies have. They all just basically follow the same points other movies have made from insults, to constant swear words to and making the plot obvious. This movie pretty much follows that suit.

Bad Word is basically about a grown man who is a proof reader who steps down for a while to join in on a children's Spelling Bee...that is the basic point of the plot ladies and gentlemen. Unlike certain comedies they all follow some form of crazy adventure or a mishap, if this movie followed that then maybe this movie would get another point from me, but they didn't instead they just whipped out a setting that no other comedy would touch because it's so freaking dull. Like look, if the setting was in Las Vegas, Paris, anywhere where hijinks are to be expected then this movie would be good but instead they pulled out the Spelling Bee setting? What form of hijinks would there be in a Spelling Bee!?

Well as it turns out our main character simply named GUY, yes, Guy, the freaking main character is named guy. Oh and let me guess who's that girl who supports him, LADY! What kind of parent names their child Guy, that's like a mother giving birth to a baby she carried for nine months and said "Ah fuck it, I cant think of any names so I'm just going to call you Guy or whatever." That's lazy, if you cant name your main character then you know we got a bad one here. So apparently everyone is all in a fuss that an adult is joining a children's Spelling Bee...I literally just said that, every time I think about that it makes me want to scream from its stupidity and I'm only in the beginning! I already wrote three paragraphs and I'm just getting started on it all.

So apparently, there's a Loop Hole to the whole Spelling Bee situation that apparently if you didn't pass the eighth grade you can still join the spelling be. I call bullshit on this, because even if there's a loop hole to this there would still be several rules or applications that wouldn't let him to join the Spelling Bee, but the movie is desperate for a plot so lets get this over with. So after he won the spelling be and literally run off with the trophy as a mob of parents chases after him. He then later meet up with Mrs. Snooty Bitch as she delivers her own exposition. But before GUY meets up with Mrs. Stick Rammed Up Her Ass, he meets up with the side character of the movie named...Jihan, that's what I'm going to call him. He's a middle eastern boy with a very annoying voice and complex.

I cant stand little children, especially these ones. They're annoying as sin and when a whole crowd of them shows up before me I will be stricken with blood thirsty rage. This kid is of no exceptions, every time I hear him and his compatance I just want to rip my ears off, oh and don't get me started on our main character GUY. Apparently he's labelled as a genius of some kind, I wouldn't call this "guy" a genius but a typical smartass. He shows so little emotion and caring that I bet he would be more fitting with that of Bella from Twilight. And oh yes, he whips up all the insults and swears in this movie, because swear words and insults are so freaking original and funny! Not to mention that he actually cheats in this movie, how does he cheats? Well from telling a child that his mother is cheating on his father with him and giving her LADY'S panties (Oh and by the way there's sex in this movie, ugly sex so yeah), and tells the boy that it belongs to his mothers, to putting ketchup on a girl's chair and making her think that she's on her period. This guy a real asshole, and we're supposed to be supporting this guy?

So in the meanwhile both Guy and the little boy starts to grow a "bond" with each other and slowly become "friends". I put the " " on those words because this so called "bond" and "friendship" isnt exactly one. From starting off with Guy using the boy's hotel to bringing him to a bar and giving him alcohol to showing the little boy his first tits off from a fat black woman...WAIT WHAT!? I might hate little kids but this is going to far, sure I'll teach a little kid a swear word and most likely scam the little kid to get something I want but deliberately giving a small child alcohol, not just any alcohol but alcohol to the extend of vodka and Wild Turkey levels. And not to mention paying a hooker to show a little boy breasts, that's pretty bad. Of course because in these days, even back when I was a child, children were easily exposed to sex. This guy is a real asshole and I'm surprised that his parents didn't call the police, even at the end when they found out what Guy has done with him.

So with the parents all riled up and having their panties twisted up to a knot, Mrs. Ima Dum. Bidch decided to exploit the Spelling Bee by giving Guy extremely difficult words, like words that are so ridiculous you want to find the guy who made up these words and stab him in the throat for making these ridiculous words. Like who the hell make up these long ridiculous words? What's wrong with the speech that I'm using right now. I'm betting that these words are just made just so people can feel smart and show that they are more intellectual than others, if you're that kind of person then I got one thing to say to you, two, no three words that even the most simplest of morons can understand, if you are the kind of person who uses these long ridiculous words in your average vocabulary then I got three words to say to you. A simple sentence, are you ready because here it is. The sentence that I am to tell you, the person who uses these long ass words in your average vocabulary, is this; Go Fuck Yourself!

Now with that rage aside, lets wrap things up. So even with all the worlds difficult words being thrown at Guy he still manages to get through in flying colors and you know what happens? Mrs. Bilbo Baggins get fired for tampering with the Spelling Bee and we never get to see her again. Then we get some exposition about Guy saying that the man who is leading the Spelling Bee Competition is his father who left her mother before he was born. Then we get some travesty about both the boy and Guy and yada yada. I'm not surprised to say that even when this movie is trying to be dramatic like every other comedy movie, it fails to do so. The bondage between both the boy and Guy was a freaking joke, and I hardly felt that they were really friends because Guy is an asshole so it wasn't really needed at all other than to add the Tragedy point of every movie has.

So at last we reach near the end of the movie, where both the boy and Guy were at odd ends at each other. They soon become the last two on the stage, but what was strange or "morally right" about this is that Guy tried to loose by misspelling the words on purpose. But the little boy still saw a spotlight of friendship and followed his example. The two kept doing this and boy does it gets tiring. There's a reason why people don't like Spelling Bees, because when it comes to children and them in spelling bees they do their best to extend the period of how long it will be. From asking the definition, to see if it's greek and used in a sentence. JUST SPELL THE FREAKING WORD DAMN IT! So finally, Guy the oh so called Genius aka Smartass tricks the little boy into spelling a word correctly making the little boy win. But before Guy leaves, the little boy offers Guy to share the prize with him 50/50 and what was his response? He just gave the little boy the middle finger. Okay I got to admit that part was pretty funny so I'll add a point on the board because of that, but that's all it's getting. I'm not generous so this movie only gets one point from me.

So after the whole ordeal Guy finds the little boy at his school and picks him up in his new police car he bought with his half of the money he got from his new friend and everyone lived happily ever after. Boy was that movie was dull as a rusted saw. It brings up no new material on the table, the jokes are repeatedly used, and the concept was just dumb. It's the basic principle of comedy, you got to at least bring something new or refresh the old material otherwise the material will become stale and not funny. This movie didn't do any of that except for one thing. And as for the child, I feel sort of sorry for the guy because he was put into this mess. From drinking alcohol, to being showed all of this and what not, but hey a kid is bound to be pushed into these things one way or another. I give this movie a 3/10 for bad morals, it's not funny, and the idea for this movie was stupid.